Archive for June, 2012

Time for another Dinner, this time in Dallas.

You are invited if you:

Always had….something, but don’t  really know what “it” is or how to develop it

Had abilities as a child, but have lost them as an adult and would like to get them back

Always wanted to visit a psychic, but felt silly, unsure or afraid

Are just curious about what it really means to be psychic

Want to meet and talk with others to better understand and enhance your own sensibilities

The TPSC is an open group that meets at different restaurants to share a meal and discuss all things Psychic without having to preface every sentence with, “this may sound crazy” or “don’t think I’m weird, but…”.  This is a group where you can be your self and everyone is welcome to attend.  Each event has a different topic of discussion and all are encouraged to participate at his or her own comfort level.  Attendance numbers are kept small so everyone has a chance to join the discussion.

Reservations are $10 per person.  (Does not include drinks or cost of meal)

Reservations are required to assure a seat, space is limited

TPSC – Cheaper than Dinner and a Movie and MUCH, MUCH more interesting.

So Kirby wrote me this comment on my last post and my answer kind of turned into a post itself, so here it is – and thanks Kirby for the opportunity to look at this a little closer…

I want to try and comment.  First part about transition and how the kids are handling it well and even with added pressure from both of them advancing into middle and high schools you say that this time always has to be rocky for me.  Why?  Not attempting to go all deep on you but why?  Do you make it tough or you history says that it will be tough?

The last section of the post, from how I read it, seemed to have a sense of urgency or . . . high level of need.  That may not have been your intentions when writing, regardless, I still think that a simple “slow down for a second” or “take a chill pill” would work.  Does it need to be rushed?

hmm, I will pause for a second to see what the answer is about why this time is rocky, and I’ll try not to go all deep on ya either..  I think it has to do with what I think of as the shaking of the snow globe.

I’m all settled into this current way of life, just for now, all the glitter (or snow…ha ha the idea of a bunch of glitter all over my stuff is funny to me…not really a “glitter girl”..) then it gets all shaken up again.  I think it’s the up in the air-ed-ness (so not a word, but what’cha gonna do about it) is the unsettled part for me.  Also, because I don’t want to let anybody down with what I have to offer for summer (and yes, on the larger scale as well – since I know you’re going to call me out on that as well…!).

Here’s what I mean – I want to provide my kids with lots of stuff to do, but also want them to have chill time.  Like, in the right amounts of both.  So I want them to have a rad summer, and from year to year that changes, ya know, as they get older.  So I guess I have some fear that I won’t have the balance right for everyone involved.  I don’t want to disappoint anyone.  That is a big issue for me, keeping a balance and not letting anyone down, or disappoint – I’m the cruise director, basically.  Or if you look at it another way, controlling.  And the funny thing is, I’ve gotten way more chill over the past 10 years, taking more of a facilitator role than a controller roll.  But the fear is still there, that people will be disappointed with what I provide.  It’s one of the reasons I’m making this – all of this – connections through the blog, the dinners, readings, and finally classes or courses for others a much bigger part of my life.  On one hand, it feeds me, but on the other, I know whatever is being provided is perfect, because it’s not me.  I’m a channel, again a facilitator, but it’s not me.  And what it is is perfect, and where it comes from is phenomenal.  And I trust that wholeheartedly.   It’s like when ya know, you know.  And this – I know.

And to address the second part – yes I know, I need to take a chill pill.  It’s not a sense of urgency, it’s just this place where I get when I’m being flooded or overwhelmed, I become scattered and spacey, feel like some things will slip through if I don’t juggle just the right way.  And I’ve had other lessons coming up at the same time, like sidebars.  Awesome!  Just what I need, sidebars!  But actually I’m working on becoming more organized so this will get better.  I’m also clearing things out of my life that aren’t serving me, my family, my home, etc.  I’m streamlining.  I appreciate you bringing this to my attention.  For all things a season.  Just for me, I rarely am able to see what my seasons are for myself, some of the frustrations of being a SEE-ER, when turned in my eye is blind.

I just want to write a quick note on how much this blog helps me clear my mind.  I appreciate anyone and everyone that stops by to read, comment (especially comment!), visit with me for a reading or cares to listen to what I have to say.  I’ve been going through a transitional time lately, feeling – like I said, spacey- and this blog helps to ground me if only by allowing me to record my thoughts and keep them safe in this place.   So, thank you blog, and thank you readers.   I appreciate you.

In the past I have had real issues with transition, and I’ve gotten better about it, but I’ve got to say, this year has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin.  I’m writing to get a grasp on it…and am already seeing it clearer than I did before I started typing…

School getting out is always difficult for me.  I go from having a structured schedule to a much less structured schedule and that’s difficult for me.  One of the reasons is I like to be busy.  Hmm, let’s rephrase that.  I thrive on being busy.  I rarely sit down.  So when summer happens I have to kind of readjust myself and my way of thinking – too much more downtime.  This year is a little harder I think because my kids are transitioning themselves, one from elementary school to middle, one from middle to high school.  THEY are rolling with it like the champs they are, but me…for some reason this time always has to be rocky for me.  Like I said, it’s gotten better over the years…fall used to be a real killer, as well as when they get out for winter break.  But there are some other things going on for me in addition to the school thing.

I’m seeing that it’s time for me to detach from some people and some things that I had been pretty heavily involved with.  I’m ok with it, but the unsticking is…difficult.  I know for all things a season, and that things and people come and go into and out of our lives, but it’s compounding this…transition.  Funny thing is, it’s a repeated lesson, one I’ve gone through before.  So many signals have shown me this, which is a frustration, but this repeated lesson showing itself again, in duplicate, causes me to pause, acknowledge, reflect, and do something differently.  What that is, – and here’s the kicker – I don’t know. Yet.  I do know the lesson is very similar but not the exact same, which is a good thing.  It has not presented the same difficulties as the one prior.  So maybe (wait, I’m sure) I’m doing something….righter?  this time.  Just how right waits to be seen.  SIGH.  One thing I can say is that detachment is lonely, a feeling which, in my line of “work” comes with the territory, and I accept it, but it doesn’t make it feel any less lonely.

So all this leads to that spacey feeling – moving backwards while walking forward, feeling disoriented, at a crossroads, but not knowing which way to turn.  The thing is, I’ve got so much going on, in a few different areas, that I can’t be spacey for long.  I can’t afford to, so my intention for today is that this quickly passes, and I’m set back up proper.  But for now, if you see me, and I’ve got that far away look in one of my eyes, you’ll know why, and please for now, forgive it.


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