Today is a melancholy day. Kids back in school, mixed feelings. Pictures taken. Started great, watched my sophomore walk off to the bus stop with her best friend, curls bobbing as she got smaller. Drove the other to Middle School with Beastie Boys on the stere-O, Kisses goodbye. Now I have the house to myself again, and hours of silence and peace and quiet, except for the occasional chicken cackle from out back or the new budgie chirping from up front. Or phone call. And all these emails to answer.
Still moving forward on that little idea, that little flag that was raised, which is snowballing into its own wonderful entity…
THE PROJECT we call it. For now.
So with phone calls made for the day, emails sent, I finally get to sit down and write on the blog again. And having come through all different kinds of emotions today I’m settling on words that I guess are a poem, constructed from a few of todays experiences. If you like this, great. If not, I’m not going to apologize. It’s where I am, right now.
Where are you?
Walking back through the doors of the haunted house, I get a glimpse of who I am. In my space which I have created, alone again. Not bad alone, not good alone, indifferent, sloshing from light to dark and back again. Swirling on the tilt a whirl.
Darkness on my right shoulder is mirrored by the angel on my left. The constant tornado of light that pounds into my head from above, directly behind my left eye, is now joined by the new spike hammered in through my left temple. A steel hammer on a steel spike, tink, tink, tink. Not nearly as unpleasant as it sounds.
I’m done with talking, voice worn out. Just watching and waiting, for the next piece. I’ve extended the only hand I can. So I’m Ophelia now. Sinking slowly, gently smiling. Not in water, but in blood. As the sun warms my face, I wait.
I’ve got my number now.