Tag Archive: Fear


Say Anything is one of the greatest movies of all time.

I’ve had the amazing experience lately of being able to relive the 80’s again, but in a whole new way.  Recently I had the  joy of interviewing my dear old friend and new author Kari Luna on my radio show (here’s the link to that show:http://paramaniaradio.com/On-Demand.php?ondemanddir=Traveling%20Psychic%20Supper%20Club )- she wrote a bad ass book all about the 80’s, mixed tapes and kooky wonderful outfits, which also includes physics, loving friends and a wonderful story.  Her book is called The Theory of Everything.  You should read it.  it’s Awesome.  The 80’s were Awesome!  And we lived it.  The music the clothes, the awkward situations… everything….SO –  I watched Say Anything this morning with my daughter, who is 15.  I just let her watch it, and didn’t add anything.  That’s the way to watch a movie like that, without any extra stuff to think about.  But here’s the stuff I wanted to say:

Actually, I’m not going to tell you the things I wanted to say about the movie or the people in the movie and where they are now…  I’ll see what everyone remembers about the movie, how it made you feel, or what you think of it now, watching it again as an adult or watching it for the first time.  I’d love it if you added a comment about your thoughts on Say Anything…..Either way, watch it.  This is something I got out of it….and was thinking about as I was watching it.

I am lucky.  NO – I am tremendously lucky.  Diane, the main character in the movie has this wonderful relationship with her father, where she can literally say anything.  It made me start thinking about the people in my life, and how I too, can say anything.  I am amazingly grateful for this.  It has to do with dropping fear.  For me, but also for the people around me, not being afraid.  In the past few weeks I’ve had some opportunities to tell someone, and hear back from someone – Anything.  And coming from a place of not being afraid, was the key.  Not being afraid they couldn’t handle it.  Not being afraid it was the wrong thing.  Or would be taken the wrong way.  Just knowing what I was saying was the right thing – the only thing – this person at this time expected to hear from me.  This is tremendously freeing.  To be able to SAY and HEAR ANYTHING.

No, it’s not always been that way.  Who hasn’t been Diane Court, amazingly hopeful, also disappointed, afraid, not knowing what to do or what comes next?  On a pedestal one minute, then had the rug pulled out, not knowing how bad the fall is going to be?  Who hasn’t been Lloyd Dobler – put it all out there, told the truth, gotten smashed?  Had the opportunity to be the one with the upper hand, and used it with love?  Who hasn’t been Jim Court, wanting to hold onto what you’ve got, while you’re losing everything, living in a prison of poor choices and grave mistakes, created out of sheer love, but turned wrong somewhere all because of wanting to protect someone we love?  Who hasn’t been looked up to, or the one looking up to them?  The one standing on the rug, or the one having the rug pulled out, hard and fast?  The one needing a hand, or the one extending it?  The mistake maker, or the one the mistake was made against?  Who hasn’t been all of them, in one lifetime, at one point or another?

I heard In Your Eyes a whole new way today too, the song Lloyd plays for Diane, yes the iconic  with John Cusack holding the boom box in the rain – there’s only a piece of it, here:  And if you haven’t watched the movie, DON’T WATCH THIS!!  Watch the movie first.  But if you’ve seen it, it’s a nice little recap.  And you get to hear the song.  I like what it says, we’re all complete.  Not YOU COMPLETE ME.  But we are all complete in each other’s eyes.  Especially the eyes of those we love.

Watching this movie again after so many years of experiences…I have a new perspective.  And it’s just as wonderful as my perspective when I saw it the first time.  It’s one of hope.  With a lifetime of education.  It’s waking up not knowing every day, but working with what I’ve got, flying, Like Diane, into the future, with people around and behind me, each a Lloyd Dobler, who is turning it UP past the red line.  We all are each of the characters, looking up, in anticipation, waiting for it, waiting for it…

DING.

 

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My last post was about feeling stuck.  But at the writing of this post, the waters are swirling, the flood gates are open, waves are crashing and its GO TIME.  So this post is about Catfish, which I’ve almost been obsessed about lately, A Course in Miracles which has come back into my life with a positive vengeance and oddly, animal totems.  Please stay with me.  This is going to be a true stream of consciousness experience.  If you live in a cave and don’t know about Catfish, you can click on the picture below to go straight to the official MTV page.  

CATFISH means a lot of different things to me and the extended people in my current experience – and they know who they are, he he.  Having said that, no, I’ve never Catfished anyone, nor have I been Catfished.  I didn’t have much thought about it, I don’t watch any shows on MTV.  But then Catfish came onto my radar when we started working on our show, and was brought to my attention from the farthest place I would have thought, Kelly, a very logical member of the Traveling Psychic Supper Club told me about it.  Wait.  Kelly told me to watch something on MTV.  This caught my attention.  So I watched it.  And I liked it.  Then I forgot about it, kind of.  I always really liked the human aspect of it, and that Nev had been through it himself, so could relate to the very real emotions those that had been “catfished” were experiencing.  I connected to that, because psychically I have always had the experience of connecting to people – friends, acquaintances and the people I read through stories and personal experience.  

So since the new Catfish season is about to start, it’s been all over MTV again.  I was able to sit down and watch the Catfish movie – which really caught my attention, the ending when two people sit down, face to face, the hurter and the hurt and face each other just raw and exposed – to talk in a place of no defense, no judgment, it just is what it is.  That is powerful.  And that makes me think of the work I’ve done in the past years via A Course in Miracles – which I’ve recently picked up again, in perfect time, again, in relation to Kelly.  This non-coincidence is not lost on me.  🙂

If you are familiar with the Course, you know how amazing it is.  If you aren’t then you should look into it.  Even if it’s just to figure out the connection between the Course and Catfish.  The Course teaches everything is love.  Pain, Anger and Judgment are all just Love, flipped and looked at the wrong way.  That we are all one, so in being all one, no person is separate from each other, or our source, which is also part of the one.  So since we are not separate, how can one person harm or hurt another?  That this existence is just this amazingly precise fabrication – a dream that we have created to see ourselves as separate.  But we’re not.  So that brings me back to Catfish.

So obviously in the show, as in the original movie we are following a story – a profile of a non-existent person has been fabricated to create a relationship that without that fabrication (at least on one side) wouldn’t exist.  A whole relationship – has been fabricated.  It’s a dream that both parties have subscribed to – and have created this whole other existence on.  To both, it’s very real – a story they’ve both subscribed to and fallen into.  This is a tiny variation of this dream state we have collectively fabricated – that separates us all as individuals.  In Catfish the Movie we are viewers, and are able to watch this unfolding which, by all normal means should end in a conflict, a fight, defenses and anger.  But it doesn’t.  It’s amazing.  It ends simply in a desire to understand, and still, through a betrayal, connect.  And in this, the opportunity is presented to see Angela’s side, something that wouldn’t have happened if all the above emotions had had their way.  And when I saw it, her side, as I’m sure others did as well, I could say, “wow” – OK, this person is totally isolated, and in this attempt to reach out, in the most hidden of ways, I get it.  I wouldn’t do it, but I can GET IT.  And you see the whole crew – Nev especially – GET IT.  And those emotions of anger – you can see them turn.  I think that’s pretty amazing.  And it’s a start.  It’s a start of something big, and a wave, a chance to see someone not as canniving, manipulative or a user, but as vulnerable, afraid and seeing themselves as not good enough.  In that, forgiveness, and a human connection is made.  I get it.  And I like it.  The concept is presented as entertaining, which is the hook, but the underlying story of shared forgiveness and connection is not lost.  At all.  It is a seed that is planted, that in some places will grow.  This is something I (We) hope to create with our own show – not in the way like Catfish, but seeing it present there shows me we can – Through a Psychic Connection, shared through a story.  

So when I was looking up different stuff about Catfish – I came across this on http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_wateranimals.html– which perfectly describes where I am right now.   And it does a pretty good job of describing what Catfish the show is creating too.  Pretty Amazing. 

Catfish

Transformation of the spirit, time to discard what is not needed any more, teaches to have a greater sensitivity in communication. Listen and feel to what is going on around you. Catfish will teach discernment with heightened senses along with sharpening intuitions and feelings. Fish in general show how to swim the currents of life, use of intuition to navigate effectively, aids in attuning to the world of emotions, the un/subconscious and other-worlds, heightened senses including visions, dreams and related psychic abilities. Do you currently feel stuck? The river says it is time flow. Fish can show how to ride the tide to new adventures.

HELL YEA!!  My whirlpool is spinning and the waters are rushing.  And I am ready.  The River says it’s time to flow.  I’m ready to ride the tide to new adventures, with the perfect pieces and people around me.  

I’m with the River, I Say – It’s GO TIME. 

 

 

 

Happy Saturday Everyone  🙂

I’ve had a lot of amazing conversations lately. The one unifying factor is this: WE ARE ALL EQUAL.

Last week I spoke at our school district’s annual conference and at one point I noted, and it’s completely true – I see everyone as a peer. Wether you are the Superintendent of schools, or a 4th grader, you are my peer. I have something to learn from either, and both.

Based on that one way of thinking can you see everyone as an equal? How can that be applied to everyday life? And what is the bigger idea here? For me – it’s NO JUDGEMENT.  Of OTHERS and of SELF.  This is huge – and it was huge for me.

Here’s a list of people – as you read it how do you feel? ABOVE or BELOW?  Let’s make this a visual exercise, but with no pictures.  When you read the list, see the individuals in your mind, and check in with your body – using the two words ABOVE AND BELOW

Your BOSS   Your SPOUSE   Your PARENTS
Your PASTOR/PRIEST/MINISTER/SPIRITUAL ADVISOR
Your (or your kids) DOCTOR
Your (or your kids) TEACHER

(INSERT ANYONE YOU FEEL BELOW HERE)

So anyone who you see as “ABOVE” you…can you see them as a peer? Seeing everyone as a peer – and treating them as such removes obstacles between people.   And it works in a ripple effect.  How much judgement do we impose on OURSELVES and each other because we expect someone else to have all of the answers because of what we are told is an elevated position?  How much pressure can we take off of ourself and each other by seeing every single person we encounter as a peer?

Here’s another list.  Use the same technique – ABOVE AND BELOW – check in when you see the individual in your mind’s eye.

Your COWORKERS  The Barista at Starbucks

the Custodian in your building  Your NEIGHBORS

YOUR KIDS    YOUR KIDS    YOUR KIDS

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Can you see all of the people in the lists ACROSS THE BOARD as an EQUALS  Or do you see the top list as authority figures and the people on the second list as below you?

Where do you feel the most empowered?  The most disheartened?  Can you flip it?  If you aren’t enjoying life – can you flip it?

What does flipping it look like for you?  For me, it’s taking the judgement off.  Of everyone, myself included.  And not projecting my perceptions of a situation onto others involved.  Taking a step back.  Looking at any given situation as a viewer, not a participator.

Taking the Judgement off of OTHERS as well as OURSELVES creates opportunity for amazing transformations to take place.   Have you had a situation that you can remember that had a positive outcome, different from the usual negative outcome that happened because you took the judgement off?  I’ll bring it back to being psychic, clairvoyant, precognative, whatever term applies to you.  Have you ever had your ability perk up and instead of stuffing it back down or second guessing it, you just acknowledged it without judgement?  Can you share it here?  I look forward to hearing from you.  And promise to have NO JUDGEMENT.  🙂  Have an amazing weekend!

So anyone that reads this blog knows Clairvoyant Girl of http://aclairavoyantjourney.wordpress.com/ and I are on similar paths.  Mine in the suburbs outside of Austin Texas, hers in the foothills in Colorado.  We have spoken many times, usually parallel-ly about paths, she experiences seeing the same numbers (3:33, 5:55, 11;11, 12:34) over and over again, as I always do.  She has issues with uncovering the light, and being fully into who she is – and setting that shine for the world to see.  As do I.   So, this post is for everyone, but especially dedicated to my sister Clairgirl.  I hope you find your voice again soon.

OK, I’ve had the idea forever about having classes for others to uncover their clairvoyant/psychic selves.  To have a group that openly discusses their gifts, out in the open, not with whispers afraid of who will overhear, or having to preface a thought with…this may sound weird, or you may think I’m crazy….I always tell my clients – you CAN’T freak me out.  Leave that stuff behind when we sit together – just talk without fear of judgement.  And I haven’t been close to being freaked out yet!  The reason for a group to meet is so people can see that we all have SOMETHING – many people have shared with me that they USED to have “IT” – whatever their “IT” is, but felt they’ve lost it, and want to get it back.  So, I’ve prefaced the story with that.

After meeting a fellow clair – by an amazing turn of events – I finally got up the courage to approach a local coffee shop, a place I thought would be great – large enough to accommodate a decent sized group, that had a good feel to it.  Close enough to town that people from farther south would come, but those of us in the burbs wouldn’t have to drive downtown.  So I spoke with the incoming owner (the place is changing hands apparently) and she was excited about me having classes there – until I told her more about what they were for.  Then her WHOLE energy changed.  Her smile was still pasted on, but I could feel the wall come up and the fear right along with it.  The sudden judgement.  I asked her what she thought of that, although I already knew the answer.  She said, “I DON’T FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.”  Smile still pasted on.  The only thing I could do was thank her, wish her a good day, and turn around and walk out.

I went out and sat in my truck.  So many feelings coming up it was hard to decifer them.

SADNESS. DISAPOINTMENT. FEELING JUDGED.  that old familiar feeling of WHO DO I THINK I AM? but behind all of that something even MORE FAMILIAR.  the feeling that I have felt all of this before, but on a WAY larger scale.  That brought up some fear, which I needed to look at, but I shelved it and called my new clair friend – I needed a confidence boost.  She was AWESOME, and told me everything I already know, what I would have told anyone else…but couldn’t tell myself.  It just wasn’t the place.  Keep going, chin up.  Maybe this is something bigger than just meeting in a coffee shop.  She stoked the fire that I was ready to let go back to that tiny ember that just burns in my mind.  She gave me the boost I needed, that little key that kept the cogs turning.  That conversation reminded me that our connections are so important, those little boosts.  SO to that friend I say

NAMASTE!

SO, on to part two, the part that’s really for ClairGirl – the unfurling of emotions that continued from that one coffee shop denial.  And this is the part that kept unwinding throughout that day and night.  There was something deep that got scratched, something that has been there for a long time.  That has been there over lifetimes.  Going back and back and back when judgement wasn’t just a painted on smile that went along with a NO, but when revealing one’s self, or having one’s self revealed brought physical pain, torture, death.  The fear is deep seated, THAT’S the fear we face.  Not of SELF ACCEPTANCE, but of ACCEPTANCE of WHO WE ARE BY OTHERS.  That’s where I teeter, constantly.  That’s what keeps me from taking those steps into oblivion, because it really is like stepping off a ledge, out LITERALLY not knowing if it’s into open arms of acceptance, or out into the open arena where the lions are waiting to tear us limb from limb.  These are the things that we face that are fear creators. So, that’s legitimate, for then.  And some things came up that showed me that clearly.  Some memories from way way back, during darker times.  That’s the only way to say it without going into it and making this post even longer than it already is.  I wonder, does this ring true for anyone else?  I’ve been studying past lives (again), been led back to it and I’m…remembering.   But that was then.  I need to let the fear be what it is for now.  Not what it was then.  I’m working on acknowledging it, accepting it, but also having it be what it is for THIS time.  This is part of the peeling of the onion for me, all those layers, all those lives, all that pain, and let it go.  So I can be who I am NOW, and be the connector I am here to be.  So for today, for everyone, NAMASTE.

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